Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, and nothing else. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers. Then, as we wait for him to finish some sort of paperwork, she ventures forth to poke around in the various corners of the large, cheerful room sensory pan, blocks, imaginative play, gross motor.
Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield. He can see I don't know what to do, but he says nothing that might ease my distress. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. They feed her, observe her, attempt to domesticate her with that name, but it's all superficial, a trick they play on themselves. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. Fall asleep or pretend to until the last 15 minutes. But on the appointed Saturday, when he lets us into the school, he is quite alone.